mirror my malady

sometimes i miss my old friends. the old group. everyone i kinda grew up with. i wish i still talked to everyone. i wish i didnt push them away. what happened? i got a boyfriend and stopped talking to people, thats what happened. and now im so different and i think it might be too late to fix somethings. they all still talk. why cant i belong? why cant i be a part of something

i dont like myself very much

id never lie to you

Unless I had to I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to I'll do what I got to, the truth
Is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

a teenager in love

-Dion & The Belmonts

Each time we have a quarrel,
It almost breaks my heart.
'Cos I'm so afraid,
That we will have to part.
Each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?

One day I feel so happy,
Next day I feel so sad.
I guess I'll have to learn,
The good with the bad.
‘each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?

I cried a tear.
For nobody but you.
I'll be a lonely one
If you should say we're through.

Well if you want to make me cry.
That won't be so hard to do.
If and you should say goodbye,
I’ll still go on loving you.

Each night I ask the stars up above.
Why must I be a teenager in love?

I cried a tear.
For nobody but you.
I’ll be a lonely one,
If you should say we're through.

Well if you want to make me cry,
That won't be so hard to do.
And if you say goodbye,
I’ll still go on loving you.

Each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?

Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love?

boy am in love

i think about my laughing place ha ha ha ha ha

so yeah i went to disneyland. got there when it opened,and surprisingly there wasnt a huge crowd. which is weird considering its the first weekend of the christmas time promotion.

so we got off the tram. and i was walking behind this guy carrying his little girl. she stuck her tongue out and i stuck my tongue out at her. we continued this for a while until she got all shy. it was so damn cute. definently one of the highlights of my day.

the other highlights were its a small world holiday, haunted mansion holiday, getting my brother on splash mountain for the first time since he was a kid, the jungle cruise, and seeing brer fox. small world and haunted mansion are pretty much the same every year, but i still enjoy them a loooot. i cant believe ive never noticed this but in the latin america room on small world they sing in spanish. how i never noticed this is beyond me. "un pequeno mundo es". splash mountain was hilarious, paul was so nervous. oh yeah i forgot to mention i was sitting in the front. so you can imagine how soaked i got. when i was going down the last drop, which is apparently 50 feet!, i saw the huge wave of water come splashing over me in slow motion. i was so wet after that. later on, before we left, i saw brer fox on main street. brer fox is from song of the south and if you dont know what that is then he is from splash mountain. i got extremely excited, because i dont see him doing meet and greets very often. when i went to take a picture with him i asked him watsup. he started looking up in the sky and pointing at clouds. i got all giddy and he started mimicking my excitement. i think he may be my new favorite character.

hideaway

this week was...interesting

mw2 came out on tuesday. which meant kevin and pretty much anyone with a penis was going to play it. which meant i couldnt play lego batman and i wouldnt hear from kevin for a while. i also had an interesting discussion tuesday night. shes still trying to reach out and i still feel awkward.
it felt really weird to not have school on a wednesday. i went to disneyland with my dad. it was cool spending time with just him. my dads a dork. he likes talking about all the cool places he gets to go to when he works and all the cool stuff he gets to build there. he did a lot of stuff in california adventure. right now hes doing something at paramount studios. i think my dad is really awesome.
thursday felt like monday. weird. kevin was still sick and went home during nutrition.
friday was a good day. kevin came over, like he always does, and we mad mac and cheese and played lego batman and watched the amazing chan clan.
today i went to my cousins house. we ate mexican food and pumpkin pie and watched the breakfast club. i started feeling a little teary eyed when everyone was talking about why they had detention, especially when bryan was telling his story. now im tired. and i want kevin to call me but hes playing mw2. i guess ill wait. im really loving the soundtrack for where the wild things are. i listen to it very frequently. its very calming to me.
tomorrow im going to disneyland. im excited.

back to the middle of the day

that starts it all
i cant begin to let you know just how im feeling

listening to old mcr makes me happy on the inside. its like a little piece of me i tend to forget about, but when it comes back i remember what im all about. im still that kid who fell in love with Bob Bryar. im still little Dani Bryar. just more grown up and more awesome. underneath the american apparel v-necks im still Dani Bryar.
and i won't ever forget that


think happy thoughts



ps-listening to the Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack calms me down

i got no strings on me

happy halloween

kevin was at my house all day pretty much. we watched halloween 4&5, went to pick up my cousin, went to cardenas and ate some pretty damn amazing nachos, got home and watched carrie, watched some of scream, then went trick or treating. in case you couldnt tell, i was pinocchio. everyone thought i was fucking adorable, and i totally was. i was disappointed that i didnt see too many people out, and not too many houses were decorated. i was totally loving the people who decorated all scary and even went as far as to dress up and scare kids. one house we went to had guys with masks standing in the front yard and they followed people around. i was soo creeped out, i didnt go up to the house. but the guys followed me anyways. which made me laugh. this one guy answered the door as michael meyers and had a drill. he turned it on right in my face and i was like ah! he then followed us out the door and turned on the drill some more. i got a decent amount of candy. i doubt ill eat it all though. overall a great night <3