im afraid i cant explain myself, you see,

because im not myself, you know

i feel a little off today. i dunno what it is. my legs were shakey at lunch. i had this squirmy feeling all through my guttyworks. i felt sort of depressed and quiet and thoughtful. im not too sure what brought this on. it couldve been last nights conversation, im not sure. today was a pretty good day considering though. me and sunny seem to be on better terms. im getting better at this balancing act otherwise known as lunch. i can carry a conversation with both kevin and sunny. at the same time usually. its getting better. im getting better.

and im not sure why, but i always feel weird when i see lydia. i dont even know why. something about me holding kevins hand and seeing her at the same time makes me feel weird. i wonder if she ever thinks bad things about me. im slightlty intimidated by her actually. i remember she hated my guts in the beginning of school. like shit, man its not my fault yall broke up and hes with me now. ive pondered over this and wondered if i was the rebound girl. but rebounds dont last this long right? so maybe im not. idk. just overthinking things again....